It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
