just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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