then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's shark week go big or go home
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
