Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
