These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
