I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
