idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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