What a fucking waste of an outfit
She said her name was "party"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
