He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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