Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
