um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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