Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
