please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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