I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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