evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
