he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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