is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
