Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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