Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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