You can't motorboat a personality
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize