we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
