I hope mine doesn't look like that
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
