im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
