She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize