its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
