my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
nutella sex= disaster
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
