remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
