***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
