I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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