That's intense
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just gargled with NyQuil
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I think I just sharted jello shots
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
