Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
