You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
