Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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