Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
