If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
