p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
