god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
