When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
