There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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