Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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