she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize