What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I've blown a few things in my day
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
