I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize