O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
