So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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