the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
