3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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