I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
