i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
