Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize