ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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