He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
