matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
