Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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