I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
