Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
