We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
