Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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