sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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