If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I am one with the molecules
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
