Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
