I cockslap morals
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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