thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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