I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
