Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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