you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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