Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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