yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
