where am i from again
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
